All aboard

Me: Aletheia, what are you doing with all your animals?

Aletheia: They’re getting on the party train.

Me: Oh, where is the party train going?

Aletheia: Las Vegas.

Me: 😳

Let’s reconsider the universe

Aletheia: Is anything faster than light?

Me: Not that we’re aware of.‬

Aletheia: But what if something was faster than light?

‪Me: Then we’d have to reconsider ‬everything we know about the universe.

Aletheia: Well, that would be fun.

Oh god, oh god

Today’s horror show: Aletheia wakes up with a fever, eats blackberries, then proceeds to vomit. If I ever needed to know what a blood spewing 4-year old demon looks like, now I know.

The adults found it hilarious

[Playing hide and seek with Aletheia’s toys]

Aletheia: Daddy, I can’t find it.

Me: Well, you’ll just have to keep looking.

Aletheia [with head cocked to side and hands on hips]: Daddy, did you put the toy somewhere you’re not supposed to put it?

My inner monologue

Aletheia: Daddy, are you going to work tonight?

(Aletheia likes it when I work late because I usually sit at my desk which is located outside her bedroom. So now she is basically “you-should-be-writing” shaming me.)