Me: Aletheia, what are you doing with all your animals? Aletheia: They’re getting on the party train. Me: Oh, where is the party train going? Aletheia: Las Vegas. Me: 😳
Aletheia: Is anything faster than light? Me: Not that we’re aware of. Aletheia: But what if something was faster than light? Me: Then we’d have to reconsider everything we know about the universe. Aletheia: Well, that would be fun.
Aletheia (very excitedly): Daddy, daddy! My dress doesn’t itch anymore! Me: That’s great! The itchy went away? Aletheia: No, the itchy is still there but I’m learning to live with it.
Today’s horror show: Aletheia wakes up with a fever, eats blackberries, then proceeds to vomit. If I ever needed to know what a blood spewing 4-year old demon looks like, now I know.
Aletheia: Are you going to work tonight? Me: No, I’m going to sleep. Sleep is important. Aletheia: But work is important, too. It’s like she knows my inner monologue!
Aletheia: “There’s no more blooooood. There’s only dried bloooood.” (sung to the tune of “We Are the World”) And that was bath-time this evening.
Aletheia: The adults don’t like it when I say “oh my god Becky look at her butt.” Me: Yes, they do. They just don’t admit it.
Me: What’s that all over your shirt? Aletheia: Blood. But it’s all mine.
[Playing hide and seek with Aletheia’s toys] Aletheia: Daddy, I can’t find it. Me: Well, you’ll just have to keep looking. Aletheia [with head cocked to side and hands on hips]: Daddy, did you put the toy somewhere you’re not supposed to put it?
Aletheia: Daddy, are you going to work tonight? (Aletheia likes it when I work late because I usually sit at my desk which is located outside her bedroom. So now she is basically “you-should-be-writing” shaming me.)