Aletheia: “When I grow up, I’m going to be an artist. I will artist every day and every night. I’ll be artisting all the time.”

Me: Aletheia, what are you doing?

Aletheia, from another room: Putting marinara sauce on my booty.

Me: (Please be pretend. Please be pretend.)

Aletheia just walked up to me with a pad and pen and said “Daddy, I need to chart what you are doing.”