Me [driving to kids’ daycare]: Hey Amiens, have you noticed that there are hardly any trees on Kenyon Ave?
Amiens (4): Maybe a beaver got loose in the neighborhood and cut them all down.
My son’s world is infinitely more exciting than my own.
Aletheia: Why isn’t mommy eating dinner with us tonight?
Me: Because she’s at a restaurant watching the Carolina-Dook game.
Aletheia: Yeah, we don’t like Dook.
Amiens: Caaaaaaaaat!